How Having 5 kids Gave Me More Time

I know to most just the thought of five kids brings on sweaty palms, heart racing and possibly a full on panic attack. Let me be the first to say, I’m with ya’, well at least I used to be. The thought of having “ALOT” of kids was both exciting and terrifying. Exciting for the magic of living in a large family, but stressful thinking about the logistics of raising five kids 9 and under and no there are no twins…although I’m not sure if that’s better or worse (sigh)…I digress. 

As a mom to a singleton, I was a Super Star!! I scrapbooked everything, I spent hours planning the perfect party, I collected crafts from all over the internet, elaborate preschool crafts, I was the MOM for whom Pinterest was made! BUT, and that a HUGE but, I was tired and unfulfilled and ultimately burned out quickly. The thought of adding another child to that special kind of crazy…definitely, anxiety inducing! I had all sorts of time to spend on things that I thought I “should” be doing to be the perfect mom, as if that even exists. The mom who everyone wanted to be, but even I couldn’t keep up with myself.

With each additional kid, I was forced to examine my status quo and ultimately eliminate the excess, because I had no choice, I simply couldn’t keep up. I no longer had time for the “should be doing activities”, instead it was clear I had a very limited number of hours, errr, minutes in a day and little people who depended on me to be present and attentive.

Somewhere around baby #4 and very much feeling like a was failing in pretty much all areas of my life (mom, wife, friend, daughter, EVERYTHING!!) I made a list, a list of all of my favorite things, a list of what it would look like to end the day as a success. I used that list to whittle down my most beloved activities and decided that’s where I would spend my time and stop wasting energy on other things. That little list gave me freedom, freedom to say no, perhaps for the first time in my life. It empowered me to live more intentionally and really savor where I spent my time. I spent a year learning how to be quick and decisive with what and where I spent my time. No more beating myself up because I didn’t hand-make each party favor or the fact that I hadn't scrapbooked in LONG time or even that my house was/is messier than I’d like, I rarely even use Pinterest anymore (gasp!!). 

Having 5 kids has freed my time, I no longer spend hours on ALL the THINGS. Nope, I deem what is worthy of my time and that is definitely not everything. I’m not a trapped by all the motherhood should-haves. I focus on what I can do well in the time that my life allows. Here’s the deal, when your actual time for “extra” activities becomes limited, it’s actually a blessing in disguise. I blessing that frees you to dive deeper into the most important, to treasure and thoroughly enjoy those limited number of activities you’ve opted to spend time on. 

So when I hear those words, “How do you do it all?” I smile and simply say “I don’t! And I’m ok, with that!”